Before we begin let us state something for the purpose of clarity. When we say love here, we’re not talking about love in the popular culture sense. Though love can thrive, we’re not talking about everyday being a honeymoon. Though love does overcome, we’re not talking about overcoming circumstances that are particularly dramatic. Though love can last, we’re not talking necessarily about grandiose forever’s and notions of unwavering sexual intensity.
We’re talking about love as simply an exchange that occurs between two individuals. An exchange that involves appreciation, care and above all, respect for one another. This is not something as fluffy as the end of a Disney film but not something as tragic as Romeo & Juliet either! We’re simply talking about real love. The love we all yearn for as healthy human beings.
5 Reasons People are Afraid of Love
The thing with really loving and being loved is that it is, to many, either consciously or subconsciously a daunting prospect. We’re going to explore some of the reasons why people may be afraid of actually partaking in a meaningful loving exchange.
Love Means Letting our Guard Down
We spend our lives trying to be more grounded, more solid and in a sense more in control of what may happen to us. Though this is never something we can completely achieve, many of us do to a certain degree live lives where if nothing else, the landscape is familiar.
Love means braving unchartered territory. It means allowing another to have influence over a personal balance you may have delicately constructed. It means allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. It means letting another in as well as whatever that may bring.
Ghosts of Lovers Past 
Whether we like it or not, we often go into new relationships with baggage we carry from the old. We’re aware of what went wrong and in some cases may even still be bitter. Navigating this landscape of doubt and insecurity can become stressful. Especially if the last time we felt we were in love ended traumatically.
In such instances even if a part of you really wants to give love another go, what happened in the past might have left you anywhere between a little apprehensive to incapable of letting go again.
Love Demands Growth
Any healthy relationship on occasion will demand growth and evolution on the path of both individuals involved. This can be intimidating as we sometimes feel we might not be ready or in a position to make the changes required of us.
Stranger still is when we are unable to accept the positivity with which those who love us view us with as our internal frame of self viewing is more inclined to the negative. In this instance even though our own way of seeing things is damaging, we have gotten used to it over time making any over way of looking at things scary!
Love gives you something to Lose
Many ascetics and spiritual gurus preach letting go of things that hold us to the world. Letting go of anything whose unexpected loss could cause us grief by our own volition! Though living like that is rather liberating it is not for everyone. At the same time, when we’re not intimately involved, in a holistic sense, we have one less thing in our lives whose loss matters.
Investing in another in the way that love may demand means risking the hurt that comes with losing them. There is more at stake and this can be something that many of us fear subconsciously.
Love is a Commitment
Many of us fear commitment in any form, and this for various reasons. Loving someone means showing up. It means committing. It means putting the other before yourself at times and on occasion before your friends and family. It means being the best version of yourself, even if only for the person who that love is directed to. Fear of messing that up is terrifying.
Conclusion
The thing about love is though daunting, it is almost unavoidable. We’re wired to love, to care and to connect which is why regardless of how scary; it is something we keep going back to.
This being said, if you feel you’re unable to really experience love without being pulled down and hindered by yourself in a sense, it’s okay. If you suffer from a phobia from expressing your feelings and emotions due to some underlying trauma, there are treatments and therapies that can help!
Remember, scary as it may be, love is beautiful, so if you feel there is something holding you back, get the help you need!
Sources
https://www.eharmony.com/blog/7-reasons-you-might-be-afraid-of-love/#.W82Rc9Izbcs
https://thoughtcatalog.com/liane-white/2017/10/love-is-scary-but-love-bravely-anyway/
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