Saying what we feel is something that does not require much effort for some of us. For others, however, things may not be so simple, as many people struggle with expressing their emotions. This can be due to a number of reasons which may result in an overall fear or phobia of expressing your feelings.
If you’re someone who struggles with saying what you feel and want to know more about why, read on!
6 Reasons Why You Can’t Say What You Feel
If you struggle with saying what you feel, educating yourself with regard to what lies at the bottom of this is one way to overcome the problem. Here are some reasons why people fail to say what they feel!
1. Low Self-Esteem/Worth
One reason why many of us do not simply state how we feel is a deep-seated belief that we’re simply not important enough. When we suffer from low self-esteem or low self-worth, we tend to write ourselves off in many situations. We will give the needs and comfort of others importance over our own. We may even fail to partake in self-care. We also tend to see our own emotions as irrelevant and, hence, not worth bringing up or getting into!
2. Fear of Conflict
Sometimes it might not be low self-esteem but a fear of conflict that keeps us closed and silent. We feel that saying too much might lead to needless arguments and confrontations and tend to avoid the same it all costs; even if it means bottling our feelings for the longest time.
Though, in some instances such containment might be a good idea, avoiding expressing how you feel more often than not because of a fear of conflict is not the healthiest way to go!
3. Rejection
Fear of rejection is something which is deep-rooted and often a tricky one to deal with. It also leads us to develop numerous defensive behaviors to help us avoid rejection where possible. One such behavior is not expressing our feelings.
We do this as we think that if people know how we really feel about things, we will not be accepted. Sometimes working with and overcoming a fear of rejection might involve specialized techniques like hypnosis and long-term therapy.
4. Emotional Rigidity
Emotional rigidity might come from a belief that staying shut and cold somehow exhibits emotional strength. This belief is often related to messages we receive when we’re growing up. The trouble with this is that emotional rigidity has nothing to do with strength. In fact; this is more of a defense which eventually gets in the way of healthy communication and expression of how one is feeling.
5. Hopelessness
There are times when we feel that certain situations will not change no matter what we do and, hence, refrain from expressing ourselves altogether. The problem with this is that it comes from a place of having given up which may result in attraction of the very undesirable situations you wish to avoid.
6. Rescuing & Being a Martyr
Some of us feel that it is our job to carry the weight of others and be a burden on no one. If you belong to a martyr or rescuer mindset, you might not express your feelings simply because you wish to leave the other more space. Alternatively this could also be because you don’t want to hurt them. In any case, this does not really always serve you well!
Winding Down
As you can see, not saying how you feel is something that runs a lot deeper than what you might imagine. Often the simple behavior of staying shut is a symptom of deep seated developmental damages. If you feel that your trouble saying how you feel is something that you need help addressing than it makes sense to find the help you need. It doesn’t matter if you address your fear of being expressive using therapy, hypnosis or a blend of both.
What matters is that you do the work and proceed to live the best version of your life that you possibly can!
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