Self-Sabotage: What It Is And How To Address It?

Self-sabotage is when someone experiences conflicting feelings and thoughts regarding what they say they want.

From an outsider’s perspective, it appears to be a simple problem to solve. People might even ask you to “snap out of it”. Unfortunately, the problem requires some serious self-reflection as well as finding out the reasons behind your destructive actions.

In this blog, we provide answers on how to effectively deal with self-sabotage.

Identify Your Typical Thinking Patterns

Our life experiences and personality hardwires certain patterns within us which create possible flaws and biases in the way we think. For instance, people who are prone to anxiety or suffer from anxiety-attacks tend to overthink and identify threats when there really aren’t any. Simple requests such as writing an email can cause one to overreact and become anxious.

The solution lies in taking control of your thinking process. Maybe you expect too much of others and it ends up hurting your relationships. Perhaps you think others are trying to avoid you when that’s really not the case. Getting rid of this thinking pattern may seem difficult at first but with some reflection and effort, you’ll begin to see the problems slowly diminish with time.

Overcome the Fear

Fear is a major cause of holding us back—fear of failure, fear of people’s judgments, fear of being proven wrong, fear of being identified as an imposter, fear of pain and rejection and most importantly, fear of the unknown.

These mental shackles blind us to the reality that life cannot be entirely happy or miserable, and that newer experiences allow one to live their lives fully instead of existing in a chronic state of dissatisfaction and numbness. To overcome these fears, we need to realize the importance of our opportunities and actively ignore the negative voices.

Accept Responsibility

A common way of self-sabotage is refusing to shoulder responsibility and attributing personal woes and problems to others.

External factors such as circumstances and people can be partially responsible but not entirely for your failures. Accepting responsibility is coming to terms with the reality that in the end, it was your own personal choices that got you where you are and the choices you currently make that determine your future. Once you stop playing the victim card, you’ll begin to experience a renewed sense of control.

Although self-destructive behavior is an easy path to take, the choice of being your greatest ally instead of your worst enemy is yours to make. A certified hypnotist and rehabilitation counselor, Rekha Shrivastava, M.S., CH, CRC, CASAC, can help you remove fear from the subconscious mind and offer self-esteem strategies that enable you to take control of your life. She also conducts online sessions via Skype and FaceTime to distant clients! Contact us today!