Human beings are social creatures; the need and search for intimacy is something very natural. At the same time, when it comes to intimate engagement between people, there are ways to do it that are healthy, and others which are not so much.
Human behavior and wellness professionals and experts have identified two ways in which people approach and navigate intimate relationships—one being interdependence, the other being codependency.
What is the Difference?
The primary difference between interdependence and codependency is that the former is considered healthy; the latter not so much.
The problem is that many, due to a lack of knowledge or understanding often innocently mistake codependent behaviors for care, concern or acts of love. This however could not be further from the truth!
We’re going to elaborate on the differences between interdependence and codependency to help people understand how to interact intimately in a healthy manner. Understanding these differences will also help you clock any codependent behaviors you may prescribe to and move to replace them with healthier alternatives.
Interdependence
Interdependence as we mentioned earlier is natural and healthy. Being connected and in tune with those around us as one article discusses is important for an individual to thrive emotionally and otherwise.
Interdependence is characterized by the non-controlling involvement with another. This includes two individuals backing each other up, supporting each other’s ambitions and not getting caught up in power struggles.Apart from this, interdependence means being mutually dependable and consistent towards each other.
Though the individuals in an interdependent relationship are in sync with each other, this does not mean that they become enmeshed. Individuality and maintaining the same is a cornerstone of interdependent relationships. In other words, know where you end, and where your partner begins. Embrace this individuality!
Both individuals in an interdependent relationship will share activities and time but will also have their own set of interests, social lives and preoccupations to attend to. This allows for a beautiful balance where time apart feeds the connection when together!
There is freedom to experience and explore in interdependent relationships and the two individuals involved to not shackle their self esteem to each other’s opinions. There is open and free communication, taking stock of mistakes that may be made and above all, honesty.
Codependency
Codependency and codependent relationships are very different. On the one hand, though there may be the illusion of support, presence and availability is more a subtle way to control the other. There may be inconsistency on the part of one or both individuals in the relationship characterized in part by moments of immense affection followed by resentment and then guilt.
There is a lot of manipulation; like saying the right things but never really acting on them. People in codependent interactions lack a sense of self. They feel incomplete or vulnerable without their partners and tend to latch themselves.
There may be a lack of space between the two parties, a lack of separate personal interests and a lack of support apart from the other in the codependent arrangement. The worst thing about codependency is though there is a lot of clinging. What is missing is, trust and the true admiration and belief in the other to let them go and pursue their own ambitions or desires. There is also a lack of transparency as well as the inability to admit to one’s own mistakes in such situations.
The Differences are Clear the Nuances not So Much!
By going over the information above, it is pretty easy to see the difference between the two forms of intimate engagement. Another thing that is clear here is how where interdependence is conducive to growth and personal evolution, codependency isn’t! Rather, the latter tends to cause stagnation in the lives of those involved.
Unfortunately, it is not always easy clocking codependence if you’re in the middle of such an interaction. Doing so requires that you really reflect and remain honest with yourself to the best of your abilities. Further, even becoming aware of any existing codependent behaviors, refraining from the same can take time and effort.
What if I need Help?
As human beings one thing we do have is the capacity to heal and change for the better. Codependent attachment styles might be the result of negative role modeling, childhood experiences and early trauma.
There are many ways you can seek support to work with codependency. There are certain treatments and therapies which are ideally suited to working with problems such as codependence including Hypnosis which is known to be effective even with issues that other techniques might not be able to address.
If you’re located in Rochester, NY or anywhere else across the globe, we offer hypnosis services online via Skype, so feel free to connect with us if needed!
Sources
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2016/04/what-causes-codependency/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/balanced-life/2013/06/the-importance-of-interdependence/
http://www.webster.edu/student-counseling/problems/codependent.html
https://psychcentral.com/lib/codependency-vs-interdependency/
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