Winners, who are successful in life, have some traits in them that distinguish them from whiners. We will be focusing on some of those features that distinguish winners from whiners.
According to Keith Cameron Smith, the most important distinction between winners and whiners is that winners take responsibility and whiners play the role of victim. When you take responsibility, you are more likely to yield good results. Winners do their best and trust good will happen. Whiners always worry and are fearful. Worry is the enemy of winning. Winners have faith in positive outcomes. They are more willing to trust others and hold a belief that is conducive to their success. They are able to trust the intentions of others while whiners tend to allow their fears into worries and their worries grow into suspicion. Winning happens with unity. Winners know that they have choices and they take responsibility for them. Instead of blaming and complaining, they make healthy choices and set boundaries. Taking responsibility for your circumstances lead you to grow and winners just do the same. On the contrary, whiners feel discouraged and disappointed. Winners also get disappointment but they are able to deal with their disappointments and move on with encouragement. They make good choices related to their thoughts, feelings and actions.
Winning is the result of positive thinking. The positive results are the fruits of positive thoughts which are the roots of the plant. Winners understand that roots create the fruits. The thoughts they choose to hold in their minds tend to grow roots and eventually a little thought or seed can become a big tree with lots of fruit. They carry the positive thoughts in their minds. They practice so that the negative thoughts do not stay for very long. Once a thought starts to grow roots, it becomes harder to remove. Winners believe that results are their responsibility. Whiners become victims because they allow others to control their thoughts. Winners know how to control their thoughts and thus they can change the results.
Winners understand that they can learn to acquire what they desire. They are willing to expand their knowledge and learn new things. Whiners are critical because they are not willing to pay the price of success themselves. Winners pay the price and accept criticism. They don’t worry about what others think of them. They care what they think of themselves. Winners have high self esteem. They are not arrogant but they believe in their abilities. On the contrary, whiners tend to criticize themselves and have low self esteem. Winners tend to serve people and enjoy the joy of helping others. They offer service from their heart and achieve success.
Another trait that distinguishes winners from whiners is that winners also know the reasons why they want certain things. Clarity and certainty help winners while whiners tend to allow others to control their thoughts and they don’t really know what they want.
Winners hold positive beliefs about themselves which help them in persistence. When they face challenges in life, their beliefs give them the confidence and facilitate persistence in the face of adverse situations. When setbacks happen, winners learn and adopt new strategies while the whiners find an excuse because they don’t believe they can succeed. Winners learn from the outcomes of the situations, adjust, modify and adapt in order to win. They don’t judge their actions as right or wrong but they focus on the results and adjust until they get the desired results. They focus on being powerful and peaceful. They have a vision and they take the right actions to realize their vision. When there is a lack of vision, it causes you to find an excuse. Since winners have a strong sense of belief, they can visualize their long term goals and work on them with persistence. Whiners, on the other hand, lack the vision. Winners use the power of heart and head and believe in themselves. Winners find the right way to achieve their vision. Winners do not get discouraged when there is hardship but they endure the hard times and continue their journey. They have the power to persevere and resolve their hardships and they do not give up easily.
Another trait that winners have is that they are able to energize people. Whiners tend to drain the energy of others and attract whiners. Winners choose to be with positive people. Becoming a winner is a choice and winners make a choice to stop complaining and start appreciating. Winners do not ask for pity. They are appreciative and focus on the good things in this world than the bad. They encourage others and do not speak poorly of others. On the contrary, whiners, tend to complain, discourage others, compete with each other and gossip. Winners are leaders and they do not lead by manipulation or force. They identify their strength and their weaknesses and use good judgment.
As compared to whiners, winners are good listeners while whiners tend to talk more and listen less. They do not show sensitivity to the needs of others. Meaningful relationships emerge from good listening skills. Winners have mastered the skills of listening. Whiners tend to ramble on and on and tend to interrupt others. Winners show respect to others by listening. Winners listen with their hearts and whiners listen only with their heads. We connect with others better when we listen with our hearts. Winners are committed listeners. When people talk too much, they are dominated by their ego and they want to prove them right, persuade others to see their opinions as right. Winners understand that there will be difference of opinions and they respect it versus trying to persuade others to follow their opinion blindly.
Winners live in the present and enjoy the journey of their destination. They do not worry about the future as much and spend their energy on what is happening in the “here and now.” They do not give up easily and persevere till they reach their goal. Winners grow from experience and whiners try to stay the same and experience pain. Winners are also grateful because gratitude affects our mood and it also generates joy. When you feel distraught and depressed, begin to feel grateful for what you have like health, relationships, children, money, and assets. Immediately you will feel less deprived and begin to appreciate what you have in life. Winners also focus on good in everything and thus they are able to control their feelings. Winners try to make their thoughts good and this determines whether they will feel joy or pain. Winners tend to create joy wherever they are and they live in the present. They learn from hard times and grow from them.
Winners also try to appreciate the good in their friends. They are aware that not everyone will agree with them in opinions and viewpoints. They work on their differences, resolve them and move on, as opposed to believing that they are always right. Ego tends to destroy relationships. When one develops a certain amount of humility, they are better able to sustain long term relationships. It is the willingness to accept others as who they are. Forgiveness is another trait that is important for building up good relationships. Winners tend to have the forgiveness also. Winners are open and not very rigid and they can see the distortions in their perceptions. They are not arrogant and they are willing to consider other perspectives also. When we allow ego to run our lives, we ruin our lives in the process. Winners stay focused on what they agree with the other person versus disagreements. They are good in letting things go. They choose their friends wisely.
Winners think big. Thinking big requires conscious choice. They have faith and belief in good things. They experience positive feelings and emotions by exercising their faith. When we think small, it produces fear and anxiety.. Winners pursue their dreams and have confidence in themselves. They know they can achieve what they want and do not get discouraged with self doubts and thoughts of failure. They focus on how they can achieve their goals and right actions too strive towards their path of success. They pursue with passion. Winners tend to work on their thoughts and beliefs which are limiting in nature.
Winners are focused and not scatterbrained. Winners do not complain and whine. They live with peace. A focused mind is able to generate new ideas and become creative whereas, scattered brain is weak and starts to shut down when there is hardship. They prioritize their goals and become responsible. They do not get overwhelmed with too many things to do at a given moment. It is important to be at peace rather than juggling too many things at the same time.
Winners tend to focus on the good aspects of the situation. They tend to see silver linings in every cloud. They find an opportunity in every situation and make the best use of it. Learn to remember the positive moments of your past and try to build up on those positive aspects. Ask empowering questions and stick to your plans. Winners tend to do this in order to succeed. This helps in moving from fear to faith, stress to peace, and from darkness to light. Winners are good in doing this. They are rational thinkers and they look at the positive perspective rather than viewing the events and situations in a negative way. They are able to change the way they think and create meaning. Winners enjoy creating positive meaning in every situation. They live their life to the fullest.
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Reference:
The Top Ten Distinctions between Winners and Whiners by Keith Cameron Smith
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