Many times we wonder if it is possible to program our subconscious mind. There is so much talk about this concept these days. People who are chronically depressed and anxious sometimes doubt that they can change their outlook and they become habituated to think negative. Recent research shows that it is all in your hands to change your thought pattern and the more you do it, the better you become. You have control over how you think and interpret situations. In order to program your subconscious mind, you need to do something called Emotional Transfusion. Sometimes, it works better than antidepressants.
We have all heard about blood transfusion and we all know what it means. However, there is something called Emotional Transfusion, which we can do ourselves without the help of the doctors. When someone is weak or goes through surgery or has lost blood, the doctors match the blood and give a fresh supply of blood to the person, which gives him the vitality, nourishment and energy. In the same way, when we think negative our subconscious mind gets bombarded with negative messages and before we know it, our barrel is full and it overflows . This overflow of negative messages makes us anxious and panicky. What do we do about it? We can learn the technique of Emotional Transfusion and begin to reduce our negativity with positive self talk, affirmation and cognitive restructuring of dysfunctional thought patterns. These positive messages tend to work as emotional transfusion as they give us the new energy, mental peace and facilitate better coping skills to deal with our situations. They change our outlook, and perception. My advice is to first have the awareness of your negativity; only then you can do something about it. There are five R’s to help you learn this process according to Pauline Neff and Robert Handly as listed in their book, Anxiety and Panic Attacks.
1. Realize Mr. Negative is Part of your Consciousness.
When we are angry, upset or anxious, we tend to make many errors in our thinking as we view the situation through a fish eye lens on a camera. We see all 360 degrees, but everything appears distorted. We fail to recognize the reality and jump to conclusion about people, events, situations, and even ourselves. Once we learn that we have a distorted perception, we can change the lens and see things as they are in reality. So the first step is to realize that Mr. Negative is part of your consciousness and you have created this state of mind. Since you are the creator of these thought, it is only you who can influence a change, but it is possible only when you realize that Mr. Negative is part of you consciousness.
2. Recognize when Mr. Negative is Calling.
When you have the cognitive awareness that you are thinking negative, you are more likely to change those thoughts into rational ones. This process is called Cognitive restructuring. Actual events do not make you upset or angry but the way you perceive them has a big role in causing your frustration, anger and tension. Whenever you feel these negative emotions, try to examine if you are making any error in your thinking and use the process of cognitive restructuring to scrutinize your thoughts and come up with effective and rational thoughts. All you have to do is replace the distortion with the reality of the situation. When you adopt the rational thought pattern about what is happening, you are more likely to uplift your mood and also reduce your anxiety and panic. We have discussed the cognitive distortions in other blogs on Automatic Self Talk and Dealing with Panic Attacks. For purpose of brevity, I will just list them here:
Overgeneralization
Perfectionism
All or Nothing Thinking
Mental Filter
Practice of exaggerating a single rejection
Negative Focus
Magnification and Minimization
The White is Black phenomenon
Stretch or Shrink thinking
Should or Ought statements
Mistaken Identity
Self Blame
Fortune Teller Error
Mind Reading
Jumping to Conclusion
When you answer to these errors, your Mr. Negative takes control over you and your job is to refuse to answer Mr. Negative. However, before you can refuse, you have to first recognize that Mr. Negative is playing a trick on you.
3. Refuse to Answer Mr. Negative
As soon as you realize that Mr. Negative is calling you, refuse to answer it as you know that it will mislead you and affect your mood. Sometimes, to do this, it is a good idea to place blue dot in strategic places for reminders. As soon as you look at these blue dots, ask yourself, “Am I thinking negative?” It is really interesting that once you develop this habit, you will begin to recognize your negative mind chatter and then you have the choice to either answer Mr. Negative or refuse it. Obviously, if you answer Mr. Negative, it will cause more upset and aggravation. However, the healthy choice will be to refuse to answer Mr. Negative. If you do not refuse, Mr. Negative will be sure to affect your performance and cause more anxiety to the extent that you will definitely make a mistake, or it will show in your speech and you will stammer, experience blocking of thoughts and your body language will reflect your anxiety.
Another technique that helps in refusing to answer Mr. Negative, is the Rubber band technique. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it as soon as you realize that Mr. Negative is calling you. This gives a signal to you that you are not thinking rationally. This technique helps reinforce reality thinking. It is an aversive behavior modification technique that interrupts your automatic self talk and helps you return to reality. Also, if you utter the word, STOP or CANCEL as you snap the rubber band, it aids the process of rational thinking. We have also discussed the Thought Stopping Technique in other blogs in which you simply visualize the red STOP sign and say the word STOP to interrupt the chain of negative thinking. Then you replace the negative thoughts with positive coping statements. We will discuss this process in the next heading.
4. Replace Negative and Irrational Thoughts With Reality
In order to reprogram your unconscious mind, it is important to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. You need to plan ahead for this. In order to do this, you first have to be aware of your cognitive distortions then plan how you will confront them with reality. Sometimes, when you write things down, they become more serious and you show more commitment to making changes otherwise, if your goals are fleeting and have no direction, you are likely to forget about them. So make three columns on a piece of paper and write the following headings:
1.Negative thoughts that are creating negative emotions
2.Cognitive Distortions
3.Positive Statements
Do some thinking about what has been bothering you and fill out the first column. For example, “I am worthless and my family does not like me. Nothing I do ever pleases my mother.” In the second column, write those distortions from the above list that are applicable in this type of thinking. For example, Magnification, Self blame, Stretch or shrink thinking. In the third column, write down the reality of the situation. Try to focus on your good points and rationally evaluate the situation. For example, “No body likes me” can be replaced with a statement, “I can think of three or four other people who love me and like me”. In this way, you refute your silent assumptions with some valid and reality thoughts to reduce the intensity of your negative emotions and thereby facilitate your coping skills to deal with the situation. The actual process of writing down these positive statements on a paper, silently reprograms your subconscious mind and begins to empty and drain your barrel which was full with negative thoughts.
5. Relax and Reprogram the Unconscious Mind
When you relax your mind and body, using any of the techniques like visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, you create the alpha wave activity in your brain. Then you use the affirmations to strengthen your positive self talk and form a new belief system which is derived from rational scrutiny. With repeated practice, you slowly and surely become adept in reducing your anxiety and create a well balanced state of mind. This habit will gradually change your subconscious programming and you are more likely to never hear the Mr. Negative ringing.
I have listed the importance of affirmations in other blogs and also cited some examples. These affirmations are like our mind chatter that we engage in. They tend to sink in better and work more effectively, when your mind is relaxed and you have attained the alpha wave activity.
In this way by using the above five R’s, you will be able to inject positive thoughts to achieve the state of Emotional Transfusion described in the beginning. Set of new positive thoughts will reinforce your positive programming and make you successful in overcoming your phobias, fears and anxiety. People with phobias of bridges, elevators, height, public speaking can benefit from these techniques. It is possible to heal from these debilitating fears using the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), described in this blog. If you are unable to use them effectively, it is a good idea to see a therapist who specializes in CBT to help you with cognitive restructuring of dysfunctional thought patterns and also conduct sessions of Imagery Desensitization to help you overcome these phobias.
Hypnosis has also been found effective in programming the subconscious mind positively. To learn more about hypnosis, please visit our Blossom Hypnotherapy page to learn how hypnosis can help reduce symptoms of Anxiety.
Suggestions offered in hypnotic trance become more effective in altering the behaviors of the individuals and promote growth and well being. Hypnosis offers powerful positive suggestions and programs the subconscious mind.
Very informative. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks, Rani for your feedback. I appreciate it.
Thank you for the information, I have been suffering constant severe anxiety for nearly two months, I am exhausted. I have been trying to reprogram my sub conscious over the last few days, I know it is my sub conscious that is the root problem…I just havent found a way to switch off the fear cycle.
Ciaran,
I have been the sufferer of anxiety for a while and always seem to try to fix it. I wanted to understand why it happened and what was the cause, blah blah… blah. Looking over internet help and going through process of therapy didn’t help me. Even medication was working for a short time. The reality was: I did not know what was it and why was it happening.
I can go on listing the methods I tried but eventually when I came to know what is going on inside body, anxiety started leaving the body slowly.
It is a slow process but in long term, it will get you out of anxious cycle.
Look for “At Last A Life” from David Paul.
It has answers to all of your questions plus the whole systematic approach to fix it.
Hope it helps.
The book which u referred can heal any negative vibes problems
This article really helped me out to get out of the negative patterns.
I could always sense negativity looking for me to tense up and build anxiety.
Now I analysed it as a part of myself and studied my behaviors.
This is how it went for me and I really do hope it helps some of you:
I rationalised happiness and peace as something…. that i have to repay sooner or later.
Not with gratitude but with my own pain of going back to what I called normality;
Anxiety, fear, tension was how I normally felt.
Feeling blissful and awesome was not a normality for me, I felt… quite uncomfortable that it won’t last and as Tony Robbins mentioned… People give up WANTS for NEEDS;
Certainty of going back to that state and being what I call normal was a NEED
Happiness, bliss, awesomeness and peace in the other hand was just a WANT; a luxury for me.
It stroke to me, I was on my way back home from a rather good day,
And I start to sense Mr. Negative crawling up,
The first thing I felt was not exactly in words but rather a commandment, a definitive that;
Since this I failed so many times at being happy, and that happiness now means grief later.
I fall in to the abyss of negativity further strengthening the belief “I REALLY CANT BE HAPPY”
I changed one thing and one thing only.
Like the golden rule of habits (by Charles Duhigg) Don’t change the reward or the trigger, but change the action to attain the reward.
In the past my trigger was the emerging of Mr. Negative, Action was to fall into the negativity and Reward was… to go back to the normality, getting rid of the uncomfort and being in my somewhat comfort zone because it was my normal state of mind.
I changed the action from falling into the trap, to saying no to Mr. Negative and thanking everyone, everything and god for giving me such a nice day and wish for more goodness.
Since then… Well its just one of those stories where I rarely anger, get sick,
And with the affirmation and up-mood I keep I feel luckier and I could say I did get luckier because everything somehow worked out quite smoothly.
This was a great progress for spiritual growth is about progress not perfection I never expect any real secret or answers but just become wiser everyday in a faster rate ever-since.
I’ve been on the journey for spiritual growth for a long time now,
and this was a recent epiphany for me.
It might be just that next page of the book you read, or the thread of the forum you follow or the comments on a spiritual article, that leads to your growth, then a epiphany.
I do apologize for my poor english writing skills or the informality of this comment,
for english is not my first language.
If you didn’t get what you were looking for in my short anecdote.
I really do hope you will find it soon.
And to those that did find some help, It is my pleasure.
Thank you so much Rekha for this article it was a great key to opening the door.
Thank you for reading my story 🙂
Will Power
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Dear Rekha – I’m in my third week off antidepressants after weaning off them since May. I had a meltdown a few days ago and really hurt some friends with my angry outburst. This article was so helpful in explaining to me what had happened and why I lost my cool so badly. Where can I learn more about the 15 cognitive distortions you list in your article, so that I have a full understanding of what they are and how to avoid them. Many, many thanks for a greatly helpful article. Sharon
Hi Sharon,
Thanks for your comment. I am glad that my article helped you. Please read my blog post on Self talk and you will learn about the cognitive distortions. Anger management blog posts will also help you. Thanks,Rekha
my husband is suffering with anxiety disorder since 2000 and due to this disease he can’t live alone and travel alone.he was not like this as he is now can he be alright he is under the psychiatrist treatment since 2 years bd he became negative thinker and says anxiety gone to subconsious mind now can’t control I am worried as I have two kids also
I am sorry to hear about your husband’s anxiety but it’s good that he is under the care of a psychiatrist. Anxiety can be treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Have him read some self help books to learn how to counter these symptoms or see a CBT therapist. Hypnosis can also help these symptoms in a very short period of time. Please visit the Blossom Hypnosis Page on my website to learn more about hypnosis and how it can help overcome everyday problems. Good luck.
Really i learned a lot of things. You are doing a great job.
Ms Rekha I like ur article I am suffering from psoriasis infection pls help me out how can I heal it
Will definitely be sharing this with the anxiety guy podcast listeners thank you.
Dear Ms.Rekha,
Very nice article. I am suffering from Insomnia for last 25 years, due to severe anxiety as I was dumped by my girl friend for a better looking guy.
I am on psychiatric treatement since then, which is causing major side effects like liver enlargement.
I am from Chennai, India. Do you offer your services here. If not can you suggest some one who can offer similar services in Chennai. India.
Regards
Balaji
I really like your analogy of the barrel being like our subconscious overflowing into our conscious mind. Made so much sense…. Great recommendations. Top notch.
WOW. Great post. I found your site when I was looking for blog posts about fear of programming, but stumbled on this entry. These are some great helpful tips here that I can’t wait to share with some of my readers! I think this will help wth the anxiety that some people have about programming! Great blog and keep up the good work!
Dear rekha. I am a marine engineer. In the year 2015 i was highly stressful as I was giving my exams for chief engineer . I was so much engrossed that I don’t like to go out to enjoy. In the mean time one of my wife’s relative got aids and unfortunately I got a scratch from him. Panic and fear entered me . I was constantly living in fear for 7 to 8 months looking for symptoms of aids instead of sharing with my wife or going for a.blood test. At that my exams stress was also there . At last after clearing exams i was on my way back home from mumbai i felt dizziness light headed and heart racing on flight . As i reached home I was so much fearful to step outside. Psychiatrist told me its a panic attack. He gave few medicines and a lonazep in case of emergency. Few months passed when I am with my dear ones or familiar place .I feel ok but when I have to catch a flight to catch a ship. I feel very much anxious and fear. Also I am anxious to work in ship . Please tell me what to do . To finish this problem thanks
Excellent article. I like it. After reading this i feel so much relaxed that the so much burden on my head is removed. It gives me positive energy and filled m with joy. Now i am ready to start the life from the new point. Thanks for sharing your nice views with us. Keep sharing, Waiting for your new posts. Thanks. https://goo.gl/fcT3NT
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