You may not know it but there are passive-aggressive people all around us. Passive-aggressiveness is used to describe people who may appear to act appropriately or comply on the surface but are passively resisting and behaving negatively.

Here are some common examples of passive-aggressive behavior:

Hidden verbal hostility:

Sarcasm is a classic example of disguised verbal hostility displayed by passive-aggressive individual.

You’ll notice this in the workplace when a manager forces a subordinate to do a task which they don’t deem necessary.

Disguised relational hostility:

Relational hostility includes everything from the “silent treatment”, neglecting, back stabbing to social inclusion.

It’s very common between disgruntled partners, quarreling friends, siblings, etc.

Disguised task hostility

Every time you tell your kids to do something and you find them procrastinating, stalling, and making excuses, they are displaying passive-aggressive behavior.

Self-punishment

When a person resorts to self-punishment and falls into victimhood, they are being passive-aggressive. Again, this is most common amongst kids and teenagers who are struggling to express their emotions and engage in effective communication.

Basically passive-aggressiveness is disguised anger and hostility. It’s a learned-helplessness that allows individuals to snake their way out of complicated situations by playing the victim.

So what causes passive-aggressiveness? Where does it come from?

Causes of passive-aggression

It may look like passive-aggression is situational, the reasons for chronic passive-aggression are much more complicated and deep-rooted. It usually originates after an experience in the past or present but it quickly becomes a mechanism for survival.

It becomes a habit that people adopt in order to grab the attention of those that are supposedly neglecting them or to assign blame on others and evade taking responsibility.

Those that have survived tragedies (ex. such as a loss of a parent) often resort to passive-aggression. In such cases, passive-aggression arises from a loss of control and power.

The true causes of passive-aggression differs from person to person but when we identify the causes, treating passive-aggression becomes much simpler.

Check out some possible causes of passive-aggressive behavior.

1. Family History

A dysfunctional family leads to numerous problems, one being passive aggressive behavior. Controlling and domineering parents often bring out passive-aggressive behavior from their kids, especially when there is competition for affection and attention.

Was there a back-and-forth with a parent over conformity and obedience? How did it affect their individual identity? Untreated passive-aggression during childhood is almost always taken into adulthood.

2. Modeling of passive-aggression

If you have a passive-aggressive spouse, don’t be surprised when your child picks up their behavior. Children are known to replicate the behaviors of their parents and if they find that passive-aggression is an effective way to demand attention and get their way, they too will adopt it.

3. Social weakness in formative years

A common trait amongst people with chronic passive-aggression is that they experienced helplessness and social weakness in their formative years.

A child with dominating parents who repeatedly fails to stand-up for themselves is likely to resort to passive-aggression. The same applies to kids and teenagers who continuously face judgment by their peers for their appearance, lack of intellect, etc.

4. Constraints on freedom of expression

When people are restrained from being able to express themselves, passive-aggression is all they have. Homophobia, gender-bias, discrimination and other socio-cultural restrictions elicit passive-aggressiveness.

People adopt passive-aggression when they feel like they don’t have a voice in challenging situations. If they are encompassed in a negative environment for long enough, passive-aggression becomes embedded and remains with them even after they have moved out of the hostile environment.

Treating passive-aggression with hypnosis

Hypnosis can be used to access the subconscious mind and disclose the root-causes of passive-aggression in an individual. The hypnotists will explore the subconscious until they learn of negative past experiences that are affecting the client’s present and making them bitter.

In the state of hypnosis, the hypnotist will then use suggestions to help modify the client’s behavior so they respond to challenging situations in a more positive and productive manner.

The idea is to help the client confront their past and move on from it by recognizing and overcoming their passive-aggressive behaviors and embracing healthy communication techniques.

Rekha Shrivastava has years of experience in treating health issues like passive-aggression, PTSD, anxiety, depression and phobias with hypnosis. If you or a loved-one suffers from passive-aggression, contact Rekha for treatment with hypnosis. She’ll provide a free face-to-face consultation in her office in Rochester, New York or over a Skype/Facetime session.

Sources:

http://time.com/4916056/passive-aggressive-definition-meaning/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201704/why-passive-aggressive-behavior-thrives-in-the-workplace

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201706/is-your-partner-passive-aggressive