If you were around in the sixties and seventies or if you have a penchant for that kind of music, you might remember a John Lennon number called Jealous Guy. The song is a soothing melody with simple lyrics expressing an apology from one individual in the relationship to another. The apology is for hurting their partner by being “a jealous guy”.

Though the latter is just a song, the fact that jealousy causes hurt is but very real. This is particularly so in intimate relationships.

Where Does Jealousy Come From

Jealousy is a normal human emotion and in many cases will be felt to some degree. On the other hand, how feelings ofjealouslyare processed and expressed is what determines whether or not it will be toxic.

The feeling of jealousy itself may come from a number of places. This may include low-self esteem, maladaptive attachment styles and insecurity (as also mentioned by Lennon in his song) among other things.

Tricky Business

The trouble with jealousy is that it’s not always a bad thing;rather, at times, it may actually be justified to a degree. A little bit of jealousy from time to time is okay.

On the flip side, if you’re constantly on your partner’s case because it bothers you every time you feel you’re not the center of their attention; this might become suffocating.

Though feeling jealous from time to time is normal, if not navigated amicably, jealousy can seriously damage a relationship.

The Damages Done

There are a number of ways in which jealousy could hurt the relational dynamic you are a part of. The first area of damage would be to trust. Jealousy and trust do not go hand in hand and one often spirals out of control in the absence of the other.

If you are jealous, you might constantly nag the person you are with, feel anxious when you cannot reach them and generally may not be okay with interactions they partake in that do not involve you. You can see how all this is unhealthy!

This kind of stifling behavior that springs from reactive jealousy tends to put the person who it is directed to on edge suffocating them in a sense.

Not checking your jealousy might also result in you looking for problems where there are none. This might lead to aggressive or negative behavior, pulling away and even over questioning.All this only creates more distance between you and your partner in question.

In extreme cases, controlling behaviors like phone monitoring and attempting to regulate your partner’s interactions can also become the norm.

If you look closely, you will see that all these actions and behaviors are just the kinds which end up tearing down the love between two individuals. If love is about respect and if that respect comes from a sense of trust among other things, the behaviors above indicate to the opposite.

The question now is; if someone is struggling with underlying feeling of jealousy which they feel may be affecting their relationship, what do they do about it?

Dealing with it Right

When it comes to working with your jealousy and feelings of the same toward someone, there are a number of ways in which you could address it. You could seek counseling or even couple’s therapy. You could also work on yourself to discover what makes you tick and what you can do to overcome difficult jealous emotions.

Hypnotism is a way to address deep rooted emotional struggles and is a great way to work with and overcome excessive feelings of jealousy.

If you’re located in Rochester, NY or anywhere else, and are looking to work with a professional hypnotist, we’d be happy to be of assistance. Our services are available via online Skype sessions.