From being called the green-eyed monster to being labeled one of the Seven Deadly Sins, jealousy has always had negative connotations attached to it. But if there’s one thing mythology and literature doesn’t account for, it’s the psychological consequences and the causes of the feeling. Depression is only a step away.
Jealousy to a relationship is like mold is to a building. When it starts affecting you, you hardly notice. It’s after it has taken root that you begin to smell the sour odor of ruin. It’s then that you go investigating. But by then it’s already too late—you’ve already suffered most of the damage, and now the black mold is eating away at your relationship at the expense of your mental health.
Crisis in Trust
Jealousy—and we’re talking specifically about relationships here—is the result of mistrust. This could mean a loss of interest in your partner or yourself. Once this mistrust seeps deep into your psyche, you’re on the path of Projection, Protection, and Competition—in exactly this order.
Projection
This phase is straight out of Freud’s textbook: you begin projecting onto your partner what you yourself have been feeling. For instance, if you have recently become interested in someone else, you might begin to think that your spouse is wired to act the same way. You might read too deep into small actions because that’s how projection works: it blows things out of proportion.
Protection
This is the phase that comes as a result of the warning you subconsciously give yourself: that your partner needs protecting from other potential suitors out there. You’re racked by the desire to hold your partner back, to stop them from interacting with potentially attractive people, and to sit down with them to decide if this will work out.
Competition
This is the phase that’s born and bred straight out of deeply concealed insecurities: you’re afraid your partner might be interested in someone you think is “better” than you. You begin feeling a vague sense of rivalry, and even if you previously bore no ill will toward them, you’d want to badmouth them; to tarnish their reputation. It’s one way of “feeling good” about yourself.
If there’s one thing that’s common in all of the aforesaid, it’s the strain of distrust. You’re distrustful of your partner, which is feeding into all of these insecurities and petty feuds.
Identifying the Lie
Whatever the source of the jealousy, you need to identify the one glaring lie that is complicating things for you: the lie that tells you that a different person is better than you; that only by comparing yourself with this other people can you get validation.
This is the lie: that happiness and satisfaction lie in what other people have or that they’re better than you. It might sound like a platitude, but platitudes can be truthful.
Depression and Jealousy
When you’re envious of someone, you’re spiraling down a path that dictates they’re better than you. This is bound to make you depressed and discontent with your own life. On the other hand, depression can also lead to jealousy: jealousy that others have it easier. It’s a paradox, a two-way street, and a dangerous path.
You must therefore opt for therapeutic outlets that can help you grow out of this self-destructive phase, which is hazardous to your personal relationships and mental health.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is one way of using hypnosis and hypnotherapy to fight your inner demons and insecurities. Get in touch with Pittsford-based expert Rekha who offers free consultations at Blossom Hypnosis today. You too deserve to be happy. Rekha also provides hypnosis sessions over Skype for all those who might not be able to visit her in person.
Links
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/green-eyed-monster.html
http://www.deadlysins.com/envy
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